I was watching Glee the other night (no judgement people, I happen to like the show, what of it?!).  I discovered how much a "win" can bring people together.  A solo victory is great, makes you feel good, and probably inspires you to take on more.  But a team victory is even better, because it...  Well you know what I am going to do :

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : What Winning can do for a Team

• Energize the group : A small win can help a group get pumped up and ready for a bigger project.  The group gets excited and that excitement brings the group closer together.
• Creates a shared memory : Shared memories can help a group re-connect.  Members might drift apart and change, but that memory can help being the team back together.
• Inspire other actions : A small victory can snowball into a medium victory and then a large one.  Once you have had success, your confidence level grows and you are inspired to try something harder.

Everyone loves winning, and for a couple, it can be a critical shot in the arm when things are at their darkest.  Marriages can ebb and flow and sometimes you can feel like Sisyphus(Google it) forever toiling to make your marriage work.  Remember your vows "Richer or poorer, sickness and health, till death do you part...etc." well sometimes is can seem you are in a cycle of poorer and sickness, ya know what I mean?  But a win can help you come out of that cycle and grow together as a couple.

Sure this sounds great in theory but how do you put it into practice right, how often do "wins" come up, right?  Well the real key is to just be ready for them when they do appear.  It might come in the form of a diy project that you two do together, or maybe you both win at a couple's game night, but more often than not they come in the form of one winner and one supporter.  Let me explain :

You and your spouse are a team and as such when one gets a win the other is always partially responsible.  If you get a promotion at work, it is due to your hard work and the support of your spouse.  She listened to you struggle with work issues, helped alleviate stress after rough days, and threw out ideas when you were at a cross roads. If you spend a moment thinking about it, everything you do is possible because of your partner.  And once you recognize it, you will be able to share your success with her, and because you model the behavior that you want, she will in turn share her success with you. 

Staying married for any extending period of time in today's society is a win in and of itself.  We are constantly bombarded with life's problems all while trying to keep a partner happy.  It is not easy to keep a marriage working perfectly all the time, in fact it is impossible.  There will be fights, problems, and issues.  The key is take the opportunity to rise above them when you are presented with it.  Sharing your successes is important to not only show the value you place on your partner, but to help you realize their value to you as well.  As Pat Benetar once said "Love is a battlefield" just make sure you and your partner are on the same side.

-TheHusBlog