Personal tidbit about TheHusBlog, I work in Marketing.  I am more geared towards the technology side of the equation, but my degree is in marketing and it fascinates me.  Marketing is all about convincing your audience to do what you want them to do.  In my opinion Marketing is that last great battlefield and there are so many lessons to be learned there.  This of course got me thinking of age old sayings that we use in our society.  These sayings are in and of themselves a type of Marketing (you can tell I love Marketing because I keep capitalizing the word).  I decided to break down some of those old sayings that we use everyday and apply them to marriage:

1. "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush":  Telling your wife you will do somethings she asked you to do and telling her it is already done are two different things.
2. "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise":  Get up before your wife and make the coffee.
3. "Expect the worst, hope for the best": Always be ready for your wife to be in a bad mood, but if she isn't enjoy it.
4. "A place for everything and everything in its place":  Seriously, pick up your dirty laundry and put it in the hamper.
5. "Absolute power corrupts, absolutely":  Don't spend money when the wife is not looking.
6. "A watched pot never boils":  Watching your wife get ready for a night out will not make her get ready any faster, in fact it will more than likely slow her down.
7. "One step forward, two steps back": Don't cover a criticism with a compliment, example "Honey, you looked way better on our wedding day..."
8.  "Revenge is best served cold":  She is going to get you, you won't know when or how...

When I started this blog three things were key :

• Posts should be funny/entertaining/informative
• Posts should be written in a way that is fun to read
• Posts will occur on a schedule and be ON TIME!

We all do too much of something sometimes.  We do this as individuals but we also do this as couples.  In fact it can be very interesting to watch the types of situations where a couple goes too far.  So I give you... Terms of Excess.

"Last night we..."

• Drank too much : I have found in most marriages there is one person who is more of a drinker than the other.  This helps facilitate a balancing in drinking, however there are times when the partner who does not drink wants to cut loose, and when that happens the drinker of the relationship can usually match non-drinker and then some.  Usually what is left in the morning is a very, very hung over couple.  But you know what they say, the couple that vomits together, stays together... or something like that.
• Spent too much : Another yin/yang type situation here.  My wife is more of the saver and I am more of the spender.  Now as I have matured, I have become more saving oriented, but there are still those days when I go out and buy a new White I phone 4 for example.  The danger here lies in the fact when both people want something, usually something the two can enjoy and the spending shield goes down for a little bit.  This can be dangerous, but it is sometimes needed.  Think about spending a large amount of money on a new bed for example, yes it is extravagant, but think of all the fun you will have breaking it in...
• Had too much fun : This can happen when you both decide to ignore some responsibilities and have fun.  Maybe you head out for a movie and some dinner when you both need to get caught up on housework or regular work.  Yeah, it can suck to be behind the eight-ball with work, but the chance for you and your wife to play hooky is usually worth it.

"Really, TheHusBlog, now you are writing a blog about advice?!"  First off, thank you for using my name.  "You're Welcome."  Secondly, I feel like after all my blogs I would be negligent if I did not take some time to explore the idea of advice giving.  Whenever I think about advice I am drawn to a quote from Baz Luhrmann in his "Everyone's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)"

"Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth."

My wife is out of town for the next couple of weeks for her residency.  She has been gone a week and communication with her is difficult.  She is in a very rural area, and cell service is spotty at best.  We do not get a chance to talk too often so when we do it is filled with daily details and updates.  The situation has of course lead me to think about all the thing I miss about my wife...

Things I Miss...

• Inside Jokes : Just like me, I am sure you and your wife have inside jokes that only the two of you know.  For example the following things mean nothing to you...  "And skating, and skating, and skating..."  Or "It's your job..."  Just typing these things make me smile, but only my wife will get them...
• Activity Partner : My wife and I don't do all of our errands together, but there are some things that are just more fun as a pair, like going out to eat or seeing a movie.
• Favorite TV Shows : My wife and I have tv shows that we like to watch together so when she is not around I don't have my tv buddy...

I am going warn you in advance, this is going to be a dorky, tongue and cheek post.  You see my wife is out of town and I have been left to my own devices.  I have decided to make it a Lord of the Rings Trilogy weekend.  Well right at the beginning the movie talks about the One Ring and immediately I looked at my wedding band.  While I studied the ring that signifies my status of being married, my commitment, and the love of my wife, the movie said the following :

One Ring to Rule them all, One Ring to Find Them,
One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them...

This lead me to think about what my ring really means to me.  When I think about my marriage, the ring on my finger really does symbolize so much.  Then I got to thinking how do I show that in my day to day actions.  If I was to treat my marriage as quest, what would my banner be...

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : My Ring Symbolizes...

• Trust : My wife is the only one for me.  My ring shows that to the outside world.  I am taken, sorry ladies, this guy is off the market.
• Honor : I talk about my wife all the time.  Usually I am telling people how proud I am of her.  She is pursuing an advanced degree and working really hard.
• Joy : Thinking about my wife usually makes me smile.  She is a very funny person and when she is in a good mood there is not better company in the world.

Okay guys, let me set the stage.  Your wife is getting ready for date night and she spends at least an hour locked in the bathroom doing God knows what, while you wait patiently.  She comes out, 15 minutes late and you two head off to your destination.  Now, what is the difference in men getting ready and women.  Well usually for women, hair takes longer, and they have to do makeup so that accounts for more time.  But men what DO YOU DO to get ready for a date night, because other than showering, brushing your teeth and shaving your face, what else could you do...right?  Wrong.  There are some things that men should do, I give you terms of Grooming.

"I need to..."

• Manscape : You would not appreciate if your wife was really hairy "down there" so why do you think you could get away with it.  Some trimming should be done regularly to make yourself look good, besides trimming down there will make you look bigger anyway.  Another thing often over looked by most men is to trim or shave your arm pit hair.  Think about cuddling for a moment.  You laying on your back and your wife snuggled up to you with your arm around her, well if you do not trim she could have you arm pit hair on her neck, which is gross.  Another added bonus is your deodorant might actually be applied to your skin as opposed to just clumping in your arm pit hair...  Really, they are simple steps.
• Shape my eyebrows : There is one key to eye brows, "There should be two of them."  Do some up keep to make sure your eye brows accent your eyes, not detract from them.  However a word to wise, be careful with eye brow trimmers and make sure not to trim too close, because they take a LONG time to grow back.
• Clip the Toenails : Nothing is worse, according to my wife, than being woken up by sharp toe nails digging into your flesh.  Seriously guys, clip them!  If you cannot reach them, either by injury or "growth" then go and get a pedicure.  Keep it dull!
• Ex foliate :  Dead skin accumulates on your body, the best way to get rid of it, is to shower and scrub your body.  This will make for smooth, touchable skin.  You want that.  If you wife likes touching you, then only good things will follow...

Ah, perspective... (I have to put in a little aside here, I have written, and rewritten this post a couple times and the only thing that has stayed throughout all of the iterations was the beginning line "Ah, perspective...")  To me, getting the right perspective on things is a Zen like pursuit, you will never fully attain it, but the journey is important.

A marriage is all about compromise, but sometimes one person has to put themselves in the other person's shoes.  This can be a feat of epic proportions when in a fight.  Often times we can be so consumed with the idea that we are right, that we cannot see the other person's point of view which will severely hinder coming to any type of understanding.  So we as Husbands must walk a fine line between being a hard headed jerk and a door mat that just gets walked all over...  The key to staying in the middle of those two extremes is of course perspective.

TheHusBlog Definition Pause : Barriers to True Perspective

• Honor : When our word is called into question, most men will get very angry.  It is a hard thing, to have someone question our integrity and then listen patiently while they explain why.  A great example of this is when our wives ask us our opinion about something, we give it, then she thinks we are lying.  It could be about something really small, like whether or not you like the dress she has on.  We say "yes." And she doubts it.  She might doubt it because our voice got a little higher, or because we looked away when we answered.  The simple truth is she observed a behavior that she felt was dishonest.  Now our first reaction might be to get angry that our words where not trusted, but the truth of the matter is, maybe, we did give a signal that our words might now have been true, take a second, step back and realize, she is not calling into question your honor, just the last couple words you said...
• Situational : Your wife probably does not understand all the ins and outs of your job.  You might come home and tell her how awful your day was, and she might tell you that you are over reacting.  Now she is giving her perspective.  You might not like it, but the truth of the matter is, she was not there and sometimes it is hard to convey a situation with words.  
• Emotional : More often than not the only thing that travels faster than light is the feeling of being hurt.  In the midst of an argument, our hurt feelings can cloud the situation.  It can be hard to take a step back when emotions are high, but that is often the best step you can take.